25 Ways To Embrace Your Feminine Energy (Part 1)
Introduction
While society sells the idea we’re ‘all the same’ — biology remains unchanged.
If you identify as female, raising feminine energy is gaining noise as a gateway to more fulfilling relationships, lower stress, and greater energetic balance.
Is this just a trend? Or is there true value in this concept?
Here are the first five feminine energy traits and what happened when I focused on them:
Sensing
Smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.
Why it’s important:
Sensing is a powerful healing tool. Supposedly we have eyes, ears, a mouth and a nose for a reason? In her book, Gracefully, Valerie Ramsey writes, “Sensuality enriches the soul as much as the body and mind.”
What happened when I focused on sensory experiences?
Surely I was too busy to smell the roses?
To humour my mentor, I added sensing to my daily routine as a priority.
Swimming. I’d arrive grumpy and complaining about x, y and z, and after floating, swimming underwater, and sauna bathing— the calming blitz on my nervous system was noteworthy - like magic — a mood of delight flooded my being. Can’t be that easy, could it? I was disappointed this worked — Maybe it was a fluke? Maybe the effect would reduce over time. But, no, especially in times of stress, water immersion and people-watching (my God, what fun), worked it’s magic. Reset, get-happy tool bagged!
I got excited — extending the sensing game to wearing perfume, diffusing essential oils, and indulging in dark chocolate — (two squares! Not the whole bar). But yeah-I’m liking this!
Walking in nature, music & guided meditations, basking in the sun or breeze, enjoying massages, watching favourite shows, pampering lotions, candle-lit lavender, and Epsom salt baths. Eventually, I felt so good that I couldn’t give these things up! I felt relaxed and at ease.
At times I wondered — had I gone to heaven, because I couldn’t stop grinning like I’d just gotten away with a parking ticket. I ignored the glimmers of guilt, like, Should I be doing this? And…
Now I think of it: How early in life did my love of sensing go astray? Could the dystopian conditioning have started at school? With the masculine school blazer and dark, depressing uniform?
You know what? I’m buying flowers for myself from now on, just because!
Nurturing
Relating, acknowledging, appreciating people’s experiences, caring for children, animlas and supporting others.
Why it’s important:
This form of nurturing is to bond, heal, create, relate, and empathise. (Men’s form is to protect, provide, fight for a good cause, solve problems, and take action).
What happened when I gave it a go?
My career requires me to solve, advise, give and action. It’s very ‘guy energy’.
This was a total accident, but I joined a women’s relationship group, and learned and practiced how to: hold space for others; listen; relate; validate; acknowledge; and feel feelings. My old way of giving was in practical ways. Gradually, it transformed into giving emotional support and creating positive vibes instead, which felt more comfortable and reassuring. Providing hope, emotion, encouragement, and empathy was an alien concept, a skill I’d never focused on. The surprising thing is how much nurturing myself and others healed past wounds. Finally feeling seen and heard, I made some awesome lifelong friends.
I’ve noticed, people’s kids love it when I’m playing doll house or building sand tunnels at the beach with them in ‘their world’.
OK it’s actually because I love it.
Nurturing rocks! I’m now a fan.
Emotional Expression
Free expression of feelings, happiness, sadness, warmth, comfort, discomfort, vulnerability, and being able to share your fears or ask, when you need help.
Why it’s important:
Previously, suppressing, containing, and denying my emotions caused IBS and anxiety, sleepless nights, isolation from others, and inauthentic interactions. I also required the men in my life to act like women because I was afraid to connect with other women. (Thanks major trust issues!).
What happened when I gave emotional expression a go?
I started by picking a feeling to describe bodily or emotional sensations. At first, I only expressed how I felt in a journal. Warm, comfortable, confused, stuck, graceful, happy, bored, embarrassed, angry, awkward, stressed, or overwhelmed—I explored my inner world. Journaling every day, gradually unfolded into expressing myself in the moment verbally (shock horror!) without shame (gasp!).
This is how emotional expression found its way into my reality. The expressions fell out of me in an awkward mess. Either too explosive or too robotic—to be fair, massively uncomfortable for all involved! But still, I notice that expressing emotion forms an unbreakable bond with people. In many ways, it’s blown things up and allowed pieces of life to re-prioritise and settle into a new form. The deeper connection resulting from these expressions is something I’m enjoying right now, which is super nice.
I've come a long way, and I will keep expressing my emotional experience to my heart's content. There’s no way I’m stopping now.
The thing is, I can’t. I cry a lot more now. I’m told crying releases control and lowers cortisol — so something to try out.
Fluid
Fluid, stormy, emotional, passionate. It flows from moment to moment like the waves of the ocean.
Why it’s important:
Flowing from moment to moment is a by-product of following your emotions and being aware and expressive in a healthy, mature, self-accountable, and positive way. It’s normal and feminine for your emotions to rise and fall like waves, rather than the flatter line of emotions a man experiences.
On the bad days, the pressures of life had me spinning so fast I felt like a heavy rock in a string bag; I was super stressed and living in survival mode. I wished I could live more lightly, and less overwhelmed.
What happened when I gave Fluidity a go?
From slowing down speech, breathing, and movement and practicing mindfulness, I purposefully slowed down. Why? I decided to no longer subscribe to societal pressure to rush around or do things all the time. Instead, I practiced patience. I took naps. Reducing my schedule and asking for help - tips from my mentor. They offered the phrase: ‘I could use your help with… [insert thing]. This one simple phrase turned down a mountain of stress in my life.
Moving to a more relaxed city and creating a minimalist home and lifestyle allows me to breathe and feel calm and centred.
Being slow, fluid, and patient = medicine for the soul.
Creative
Creative feminine energy is the energy that breathes new life into things. This energy loves beauty; aesthetic, internal and spiritual.
Why it’s important:
Feminine creativity can take in something and transmute it into something else. Expressing through creative activities underpins mental health. Creativity has been proven to relieve stress and anxiety. Creativity helps lessen the shame, anger, and depression felt by those who have experienced trauma.
Previously, I had buried lost childhood dreams of studying art; unfavourable circumstances and feeling unworthy played a role. The pressure to keep working to survive felt more pressing. Yet I kept returning to drawing and couldn’t entirely let it go.
What happened when I returned to Creativity?
One day circumstances allowed me to take time off working - I got to live my dream for two years — transmuting things became an Art Diploma!
I got so immersed in painting, drawing, writing, and sculpting—the Art School couldn’t get rid of me! It sent me into a flow state and made me smile. Drawing and sculpting were so interesting that I lost all sense of time.
It felt grounding and playful. I had to permit myself to play. To ignore comments I’ve heard in the past: like “Art is a waste of time” and “Why would you do that?” and make the choice to do things just because they bring me a sense of joy and even (sometimes) a little bit of pride.
Sometimes writing is my favourite; sometimes art, photography, fun selfies, creating business ideas, or baking. The creative choice is irrelevant, and the output is not a big deal. Enjoy the process of creating something, the fun unfolds from there.
The next five feminine energy traits are here!
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