25 Ways To Embrace Your Feminine Energy (Part 1)
Introduction
Polarity ignites desire—the greater the difference, the more captivating the attraction. Biology and Mother Nature etch this magnetic, magical design into existence.
Masculine and feminine magnetism permeates all of life. The Chinese Yin/Yang symbol acknowledges the convergence of opposites. Yin: the feminine essence of receptivity, Yang: the masculine vigour of action.
The gap has blurred in recent centuries alongside societal shifts in roles and attitudes, escalating divorce rates, and the old template for relationships no longer working. Our biology remains unaltered while society endures cultural homogenization. Hence, let’s explore natural feminine energies to ponder as you explore the source of true power: the divine feminine self.
I’ve witnessed exponential improvements in the strength and quality of my friendships and relationships, and lower stress levels when embracing feminine energy for a greater balance of masculine and feminine energy.
The first five feminine energy traits and how to tune into them:
Sensual
The enjoyment of all senses;
smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.
Why it’s important:
Sensuality is a powerful healing modality and is divinely feminine. Sadly, many of us don’t have time to take in and enjoy day-to-day sensing. As Valerie Ramsey in her book, Gracefully, writes, “Sensuality enriches the soul as much as it enriches the body and mind.”
How to:
Make pleasure a priority, insert time in your calendar, and incorporate it into your routine.
Swap stress-induced habits like drinking wine, overworking, or mundane chores, with swimming, immersing in nature, listening to music, wearing magical fragrances, diffusing essential oils, indulging in chocolate, savouring delicious meals, basking in the sun or breeze, enjoying massages, watching favourite shows, pampering lotions, and luxuriating candle-lit lavender and Epsom salt baths. Not sold yet?
Dancing in the kitchen, getting into immersive stories, and wearing soft fabric, and long, flowing feminine dresses — #INCREDIBLEfun. A good gauge of how ramped-up on the feminine vibe I am is if the male of the species takes a second look. Being feminine is feminism.
As I write this, I wonder why my love of sensing was beaten out of me growing up. Could the masculine school blazer and uniform in dark depressing colours, the performance-driven class schedule with no time to feel, have been the start of the dystopian conditioning?
Nurturing
Nurturing, in the feminine form, prioritises relating, acknowledging, and appreciating a person’s experience
or predicament, along with raising and caring for children or supporting those less fortunate.
Why it’s important:
Women’s form of nurturing is to bond, heal, create, relate, and empathise. Men’s form of nurturing is to protect, provide, fight for a good cause, solve problems, and take action.
How to:
Understand and be curious about what someone may be going through. Hold space. Listen, relate, validate, acknowledge, see, feel their feelings. Lead with gentle hope, emotion, encouragement, and empathy. For me, helping other women or altruistic causes helps me channel innate nurturing empathy.
In your relationships, reduce solving, advising, and actioning (which is more masculine energy)—save that for work. Many guys see solving, advising, actioning, providing, and helping you as their role and purpose in romantic relationships; when you take those opportunities away, it betrays your feminine essence and makes a guy essentially un-required. The rising depression (a disease of modernity) and suicide rates among men today continue, and home life shouldn’t make it worse. Guys want to be of service, yet more and more, their only source of purpose is outside the home because women have lost the ability to be vulnerable, ask for assistance, and rely on others.
While you are busy nurturing your family, plants, and animals and helping others, delegate life’s emergencies and problems to him to solve.
Emotional
Emotional expression. Free-flowing expression of feelings such as happiness, sadness, warmth, comfort, discomfort, vulnerability, and being able to say; that you are afraid or need help.
Why it’s important:
For me, bottling up my emotions negatively affects my physical and mental health. I used to get IBS / anxiety from holding in my true feelings, and it caused me many sleepless nights and painful experiences. In relationships, expressing your true feelings about your life creates strong attraction and deep connection. Holding emotions back creates distance and inauthentic interactions.
How to:
Practice asking yourself how you feel, pick a feeling that best describes your bodily or emotional sensations as you go about your day, and express them aloud or in a journal. For example, are you feeling warm, cosy, and comfortable, confused, stuck, or graceful? Embarrassed? Do you feel awkward, stressed, or overwhelmed? Your inner world is part of your feminine essence; learn to express yourself in the moment without shame. Are you sad or scared about the latest storm heading to your town? Express it from the root of your body, and anyone who genuinely cares will enjoy making you smile again or protecting you from the cause of your fear. For me, expressing my struggles has created an unbreakable bond.
If your feelings don’t need a solution, let’s say you’re just venting. There are two choices I pick from: I call/text a girlfriend I trust, or I use a journal to vent/unpack the emotion. Why? Have you noticed that when you share feelings with a man, he will try to solve them? Or deal with them as a problem-solving exercise? Yes?
That’s what their male energy is designed to do. (So don’t get mad at this!) Avoid dragging him into a “let’s share emotions party”. Guys will generally feel anxious or frustrated at emotional vent parties; hence, women need other female friends or mentors to unpack their feelings, so you’re not requiring a man to act like a female.
Let’s be real—there are times you want someone to hear, feel, or sympathize—not solve. I’ve found this is a job best done by my female friends.
Fluid
Think of feminine as fluid,
stormy, emotional, passionate.
It flows from moment to moment
like the waves of the ocean.
Why it’s important:
Flowing from moment to moment is a byproduct of following your emotions and being aware and expressive in a healthy, mature, self-accountable, and positive way. It’s truly normal and feminine for your emotions to rise and fall like waves, rather than the flatter line of emotions a man experiences.
How to:
Follow and express what you feel in your heart from moment to moment. For me, this required a considerable amount of slowing down, from slowing down my speech, breathing, walking, and practicing mindfulness; in every activity I do, I slow it down. Why? I am choosing to no longer subscribe to societal pressure to rush around or do things all the time. Enjoy life’s moments and practice patience. Nap if you want to! Reduce your schedule, ask for help by saying to your guy: “I could use your help with... [insert thing]”.
For me, the pressures of life had me spinning so fast I couldn’t be fluid; I was super stressed and living in survival mode. Don’t do this to yourself. Ask yourself: How can I live more peacefully so I’m not overwhelmed or strung out? What can I change, either step-by-step or in a new life plan I create, to open the way for a happier, more fluid pace of life?
For me, these questions led to a choice of moving to a more relaxed city and choosing a more minimalist home and lifestyle; it included change and sacrifice, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat for how calm and serene I feel every day since.
Creative
Creative feminine energy is the energy that creates life.
This energy loves beauty; aesthetic, internal and spiritual.
Why it’s important:
The feminine essence is the only principle that can take in something and transmute it into something else, for example, children. Expressing yourself through artistic and creative activities is great for mental health. Creativity has been proven in extensive research to relieve both stress and anxiety. Creativity also helps lessen the shame, anger, and depression felt by those who have experienced trauma.
How to:
Transmute things!
Paint, draw, craft, bake, write, garden, sculpt, sew, volunteer—there are many ways to be creative. Sign up for a course in something that truly moves you. A good sign is if it sends you into a flow state or simply makes you smile. Have you ever been so immersed in writing in your journal, creating postcards out of your recent photographs, or dancing to your favourite music that you lost all sense of time? That’s a flow state.
My experience has been that when I carve out time to be creative, I feel grounded and playful. The rest of the world melts away in those moments. I followed advice from another female artist and signed on to an art school, I also feel writing has become a huge passion as it connects my concern for others and creative expression. Ask yourself: What have you enjoyed creating in the past? Did you enjoy mixing strange concoctions as a child? Perhaps mixing paint, ingredients, or baking calls to your heart? Did you enjoy bike riding? Climbing trees? Perhaps a physical activity like bike tours, biking holidays, or hiking is calling your name. Be curious, try things out, experiment, and keep looking for more ways to transmute things!
The next five feminine energy traits are coming soon!
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